Back from Rag BBQ.

I realise that we seem to have a large core group of people this year; people who're willingly coming back to help, who actually believe that we can win this year.

We'd better win, man. I want so badly to win just once before I graduate. :P

And it seems like there are very few raggers in A House for Arts Camp; why is it that every year, A House seems to be the one house that we let fall through the cracks...?

And I've been put in A House for Arts Camp this year.

I remember telling the PR people that I didn't want to be a councillor, and just wanted to be helping out with the behind the scenes stuff, but I guess they put me into an OG anyway. And since I didn't express any preference, I guess they just put me into one at random.

I'm wondering if it isn't too late to ask to be put back into T House, if I really *have* to be a councillor. Sigh.

On the other hand, I'm not sure it's going to matter all that much even if I do have a House and an OG; I'm part of comm, and I probably won't be around with my OG much; last year I wasn't even part of the Camp comm itself and I already wasn't around much.

And speaking of Arts Camp, it's next week. Damn, that's fast.

And I just feel kinda... nihilistic at the moment. I wish I didn't have to do anything. But there's so much to be done.

Arts Camp food and transport needs to be settled; well, the food part is done, at least. Rag is currently making good progress, but our big dreams mean hard work-- we need a serious lot of freshie manpower. Flag... stuff needs to be done for that too.

So much... *stuff*. Such an inconsequential term for the things which take up all our time and bear it all away while we're not looking.


And I know I promised myself that I'd go back to writing this holiday, that I'd finish that one thing that I started... what, almost 5 years ago? I'd finish the one and a half chapters that have been waiting two, three years?

And I haven't found the time to.

When I think about it, a lot of my writing then was borne of a state of near-obsession-- when I spent almost every waking hour of the day thinking, dreaming, and almost living and breathing my characters and their universes.

It's that single-mindedness that I don't seem to have right now. Now, it seems that I'm thinking of too much stuff all at once and I'm not focussed and fractured and dispersed and all over the place.

My muse must feed on obsession.

I told Eugene once that part of the reason why I'm such a social hermit is because I spend entirely too much time in my head and not enough time in the world that I live in.

Lately, I'm starting to wonder where I've been these last two years.