Bleah. School tomorrow.

Was out with my sisters and cousins today (my mum's side of the family have come down to Singapore to spend CNY with us); saw lots of stuff that I wanna buy!

Wanna go back to that Fox outlet at Marina Square sometime later this week; they had nice tops. And I saw a Nike bag at PS which is just what I've been looking for for the longest time!! It's light blue, looks to be about 100% cotton (meaning it'll be easy to wash) with dark-blue straps and lettering (for the Nike logo), but unfortunately, it costs $62.

Shall think about and consider if it's worth splurging some red packet money on. :D

I bought myself a belt though. Nice woven canvas belt, interwoven with silver-ish leather. $10 from 77th Street. :)

Now if only I could get those white Adidas sneakers with blue trim which were going for $79 at Raffles City Shopping Centre... :)

Don't you wish sometimes that there were 36 hours in a day...

You know, an extra 12 hours for the time that you'll spend sleeping. And I know, some people are gonna tell me that they don't sleep 12 hours anyway, but my point is that if we had that extra 12 hours, then you could *really* have a 24-hour-long-day (*DAY*-- as in, not including night), and then you could sleep for 12 hours!

I find myself thinking about what I want to do during the holidays. I know. It's shocking that I'm thinking that far ahead.

But the thing is, I'm already committing to FOP projects, especially since all the committees are forming now. I'm officially committed to Flag as DPD again; Rag, as one of the tech leaders under hard-tech; and unofficially committed to Arts Camp, since Jingyi, the Rag PD, feels that all the raggers should be involved in Arts Camp for us to better reach out to the freshies.

And while I see her point and agree with her reasoning, I'd actually rather not be involved in Arts Camp. It's immense fun, but tiring as all hell. Plus, I don't want to be a councillor; I'm a decidedly anti-social person sometimes, and the idea of running around with a group of freshies doesn't appeal to me-- I don't want to run around! I'd rather be part of the comm or helping out behind the scenes, so I'm hoping that Night Venture or Logistics will need help, and I *know* that Logistics will definitely need all the help they can get. You can never have too many people in Logistics. Well, then again, too many cooks spoil the broth, but you know what I mean.

So here's the thing. I desperately want to pull up my CAP-- it's been improving every semester so far, but not as fast as I'd like it to-- so I'm considering taking the special term, and taking one or two modules (and I hope they offer modules which I can take) so I can lighten my workload in my third year by taking less modules and being able to spend more time on each of them.

But fighting for my attention this holiday are not just the FOP projects, but work, applying for a Resident Assistant (RA) position at one of the student residences, and it's very likely that our own NUS Indoor Shoot will be in June.

If I get the RA position (which I'd like since I'd like to get the chance to stay on campus for at least one sem, just for the experience; plus, I'm also going on the assumption that this might help my grades improve), I might not be able to work outside, and this would be sucky. RA means that you need to be around to help the residents with stuff, but you don't get paid per se, coz you're being given the room for free.

And I have no idea if it's possible to juggle Special Term, FOP, RA duties, and training for competition all at the same time. Shall have to find out more and see about it, but it sounds insane.

Speaking of which; I realised on Thursday that my training schedule is madness. For that matter, Vincent and I are mad. I didn't know my insanity was contagious.

I have no clue how what started as an idea for us to shoot together on a non-training day, in a competition shoot format, once a week, and take scores, became a six-days-a-week training programme.

We have training on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

So originally our self-scheduled shoot was on Monday evenings. Then it included Wednesday evenings too. And Fridays, eventually.

My back muscles are always sore in the evenings when I get home-- half the time I don't even notice it anymore.

But I'm not improving as fast as I want to be. And now I have to get used to the clicker, and the huge amount of weight that the extender and side stabilisers add on to the bow.

My new carbon arrows are lovely, though. Despite the fact that they've caused me to become completely, absolutely flat-out broke because the whole set cost me $100; the whole set of shafts, points, nocks and fletches. :P But I do feel a lot more comfortable with my equipment now. So will just have to train like mad. :P

On pondering the differences between Arts students and Engin students.

Which I've never really noticed so clearly till this academic year. Probably because there're a lot of Engin people among the archery juniors.

The difference becomes quite obvious whenever I talk to James, and we've had quite a few chats and misunderstandings and crossed wires while on the way home on bus 156. Haha.

Once, when James crashed my Physics module lecture, before the lecture began, we were sitting around outside the LT, and he brought up the subject of speed reading. And then he took out this book on speed reading and started talking to me about the techniques the book listed.

And was shocked when I told him that I understood all the principles of it and it was what I'd learnt on my own and what I'd been doing for at least the last four years! It's what almost every Arts student knows and takes for granted, I think. I mean, with the amount of reading that we have to do, you learn in due course. And I've been an Arts student ever since I was in Sec 3; I've had more time to learn than most people, who may have only been in Arts since JC or Uni itself.

And once, he asked if I do mindmaps for my readings, since there were a lot of them (he was referring to my 1-inch-thick SC3101 course pack at the time). To which I responded that I didn't; I just internalised the arguments while reading. (Not that mindmaps would be completely useless; they might actually be of help, it's just that the issues raised in our classes aren't really exhaustive, so a mindmap might be kinda difficult to do.)

And then he asked how I could remember everything if I didn't write it down.

Then it struck me that I don't... really *remember* everything per se. I mean.. how do I explain to someone, for whom memorising formulae is probably an essential part of his academic life, that in the social sciences, you can't just memorise?

But I tried anyway, and the only analogy that I could think of was a news story that you might discuss often with various groups of friends, and through that talking and exchange of ideas, you become familiar with all the arguments; so you see, we don't memorise. But we still remember. It's during our tutorials that all that talking takes place, where we become familiar with those ideas and arguments.

And the very idea that all that goes on during tutorials is talking seems quite alien to Engin students as well. Vincent seemed quite surprised that we didn't have "homework".

Well, not really. We sometimes have assignments, like an interview or something that we have to carry out for the next tutorial. But in the end, it all still comes down to talking about the results and why it is they might be that way. (And some of us make up those interviews about an hour before the tutorial, so once again, no "work" per se is done. Haha. :P)

Most of the time, the only "homework" there is, is a term paper or a group project which we're given the whole semester to complete.

So while Engin students "come into class, spend 40 minutes copying answers from transparencies, then if got anything to ask, stay behind, otherwise can leave", Arts students sit in tutorial for 2 hours, talk, discuss, share ideas, and if someone says something which you think is a good point, we write it down.

My training in the social sciences becomes especially salient when I sit in my Physics lecture, I think.

Half the time, I question "why?" in all the wrong places, when according to Vincent, I should "just accept that's the way it is".

"Electrons travelling from the cathode will hit the anode and cause the anode to glow." Okay, so? Why do I need to know this? What for?
--> No need to ask why. Just need to know that that's how it works.

Things like that. It seems that Arts students are just trained to make life difficult for ourselves and everyone around us. Haha. :P

And I kinda miss the time when I could just take everything for what it was. But that must've been a long time ago, I think, because I can't remember it now. Sigh. Oh well. :)

So I've made a sort of return to writing fanfiction, after.. um.. 3 years? I wrote a Narnia piece entitled "Before I Sleep" just a couple of weeks ago; it's mediocre, but hey, I wrote it in ten minutes at three in the morning.

And it's a good thing to get reviews; positive ones, appreciative ones, and those which give good constructive criticism.

But what I found in my inbox this morning after breakfast was more than just "a good thing". It completely made my day. Maybe even my week.

Any day that I see something like this is a good day:


Dear Gerri,

Hi! I'm writing an article on fanfiction for the 'School Librarian' journal in the UK, and I've referenced your story 'Those You Left to Fall'. It's just a passing reference, but I thought you might like to know you'd been mentioned. I've attached a copy of the article if you're interested in reading it. Do let me know if you have any comments or concerns.

On a more personal note, I'd just like to say that I loved the story. I think you're spot on in identifying the way that virtue is lionised in HP at the expense of the 'imperfect'. I love the interplay you've got between Harry and Draco, where the possible friendship is clear but it's overlaid by all that has passed. I'm a sucker for 'embittered but clear-sighted Draco'!

Hope this is all ok.

Best wishes,

Lucy


It's more than "ok"; I'm kinda boggled that of the THOUSANDS of Harry Potter fics out there, she'd want to use one of mine; there're tons of far more amazing fic writers out there. (If you want to read the fic she's referring to: "Those You Left to Fall")

But for now... I'll be happy with what I can get. :) I'm sitting here listening to Jars of Clay's "Waiting for the World to Fall", my fingers and toes are chilled by the night wind, but inside somewhere I'm warm; and Life... is good right now. :)

Have finally got around to sorting through all the archery pics that Henry passed to me... And because I feel like it and this is my blog, have decided to picspam. :P


Standard Ladies' Individual Knockout round. Norisha, Huiting, Mabeline and Kristy. 


Standard Men's Individual Knockout round. James. 


Standard Ladies' Team Knockout sighting. Norisha, Pecilius and Kristy. 


Open Class guys' team: Zhicong, Zhantao and Ben. 


Open class guys' team: Chwan, Weizheng and Nic. 


Uh. Random madness. Haha. Ben, Vincent, Norisha, Connor, Janice, Henry. 


Standard Class (juniors) 2005. 


My favourite pic. I call this "To Imy: From C-Class 2005 with love". Haha. Just realised I'm the only girl there. Besides Imy, who's the one sitting down.
L-R: Zhicong, Weizheng, Varun, Nic, me, Chwan, Zhantao, Vincent, Ben.  


My darling Artemis and me... :D 


My group of juniors! Coz we rock. ;D
James, Norisha, Kristy, Vincent, and yours truly. 


NUS Archery. I love us, haha. :D 

Problems, problems, work and more problems.

My form has closed up a lot ever since I increased the poundage of my bow. Last night, thanks to our new coach, I realised that my elbow doesn't come back as far as it's supposed to.

I can't remember if it used to come back all the way with my old bow, but for now, I'll just assume that it did, to convince myself that it's doable. Haha. In fact, it probably *is* doable; it's just that right now, the resistance I'm encountering when I draw is just a tad too much. Still haven't got used to pulling 34 pounds yet. Sigh.

Sort it out and move on and quickly; competition is on 19th Feb.

Have currently decided to name this new bow; blue Hoyt GM riser and W&W Winact carbon limbs and all.

I named my old Samick Progress-1 bow "Artemis", for the Greek goddess of the moon; since Cancer's (my zodiac sign) planet is supposed to be the moon, and since Artemis was supposed to be fairly vengeful, which I am as well. :P And also, Artemis was the Goddess of the Hunt, usually depicted with a bow and arrows. :D

So now, this one shall be:

Fidelis -e [trusty , steadfast, faithful]; m. as subst., esp. pl., [confidants, faithful friends]. Adv. fideliter, [faithfully; securely, without danger].

Terminus Est. This is the line of division; here lies uncertainty's end.

For the second time, I'm starting not just my week, but my *semester* with an 8 am lecture on Monday. At least it was sorta interesting.

SC3101, Social Thought and Social Theory. Where we more or less proceeded to not just debunk our society, but horror of all horrors, we proceeded to debunk our discipline itself. Headache.

"Sociology is Euro-centric and andro-centric and we have inherited this bias of the classical sociologists, in the sense that we still read mainly discourse which is written by Europeans and Americans, and many of the classical sociologists whose work we read are male."

I know no discpline is perfect, but after three sems, you come along and tell me that *everything* I've learned is problematic in some way?? *facepalm* Distrubing. But intriguing food for thought.

3101 seems promising. Especially when my lecturer proceeded to expound upon the saying of how "we create demand for things that we don't need."

"Most of you are probably are probably third-year students-- No? Well, at least second-year, then. Most of you are probably thinking that you'll graduate soon and go out into the 'real world'; let me tell you, that world is 'fake', for lack of a better word."

Yes, I realise now that a lot of writings in sociology have a strong undercurrent of the theme of "freedom". Whatever that is, and how each of us chooses to define it.

Is there a "real world" out there which is as "real" as we think it is? Is school (or University, really) really such an insulating place from the outside world?

In the "real world", to paraphrase my lecturer, we'll be buying things that we don't really need, but make everything get done faster, and all for what? In the "real world", we'll be slaves to the system; you won't be able to do what you want, because it's your duty as a member of society to ensure the continuation and perpetuation of the system. How "real" can a world be when it won't allow us to be the people that we really are?

Enter Anomie theory and Durkheim's writings on suicide, and everything else I learnt in Sociology of Deviance.

So, according to my lecturer, "The 'real world' is in here." Within the compounds of the Universities of the world, within the walls of lecture theatres and tutorial rooms and the minds of teachers and students, where we can say what we want, and with sound reasoning, be unafraid to say it.

So then, I suppose his main point was to say that academia *is* freedom. :D

I understand where he's coming from, I guess; we have a kind of freedom, those of us schooled in the social sciences. A freedom to challenge the "System"; a friend once told me in my first year, "Law students look for loopholes, while Arts students have fun making them," just to give you an example. And now more than ever, I see how that freedom is constrained by the System and how everyone else in it helps to stifle all our freedoms. (Matrix, anyone? :D)

My Literature lecturer in my first semester put it to us that the social sciences are held in low regard because no one wants to take notice of the problems that we can point out, especially when there can be no definite solutions to them. If we apply the concept of "freedom" here, could we see the rest of the world as downplaying our importance because the freedom that social science students have threatens the System and it's their duty to protect it?

But, as my American Law lecturer would say, "to play the devil's advocate", is not academia also constrained by rules? Without the System, what *would* we have to question at all? :D

It seems then, that the only thing for certain is that we torture ourselves with the questions with no answers and try to make sense of things that we cannot comprehend.

Things I have learned this past week.

-Archery is an expensive sport. (Dyneema string for $35? New arrow rest for $12/$16? Plunger button for $15?)

-Probably only about 10% of the things you learn in your first twelve years of school can be applied in real life. For example, geometry and pool.

-Despite the fact that I was always best at geometry in school, I'm still quite rubbish at judging the angles when playing pool.

-I fairly suck at pool.

-Muscles do not heal if you keep using them. Of course, this is commonsense, but then that explains why I didn't know it before.

-My new bow worries me. Because now everything hurts, and all the parts are taking turns to make their grievances known.

-Good Lord, the holidays are ending.

There's always something about movie adaptations that all fans of the book have to fear. One of those fears is that maybe the director has a poor kinda vision for his movie, and the film ends up a complete letdown and terrible reflection of the story.

Another is that the story in the film will be so different from the book that they won't even be able to tell that it's the story that they've read and reread and loved all these years, and worse yet, when others who haven't read the book before take watching the movie as a cue to go read it and find it entirely different (and even worse, "boring"), you can't help but feel a little disappointed (or in the latter case, insulted).

Recently, I've found yet thing to fear. It's not a reason that's commonly known or thought of, because I believe that that the larger proportion of any fan base out there probably doesn't even know of fanfiction, let alone read it.

So here's what the new fear is: unwanted, disturbing romantic pairings.

Take Lord of the Rings for example. I never read the Lord of the Rings books before the first movie, but I'm willing to bet that LOTR slash either never existed or was never this prolific BEFORE the movies.

And after the movies? Well, it's pretty common to see Legolas paired with Aragorn. Or some other male elf. And Samwise with Frodo, and maybe Merry with Pippin.

I read slash myself, but steer away from the LOTR FPS (Fictional Person Slash); I've talked to a lot of people who feel that the amount of touching and hugging and outward emotional expression in the movie is "just gay", and sometimes that irks me. A lot. What is it with our modern society's obsession with marking guys as "gay" just because of certain things that they do? In fact, when I myself see guys behaving in a "non-masculine" sort of way, I jokingly call them "gay" too, but on hindsight, it does make me wonder why on earth it should disturb me.

Suffice it to say for now that I just don't see why people can't accept that Tolkien was writing about brotherly love and deep love between friends, and for all the touching and hugging in the movie, well, sometimes there just isn't any other better way to tell someone how much they mean to you, is there? And the slash pairings in LOTR just sorta... degrade that, to me.

May seem odd to you that I say that, but I think the cliche phrase "more than friends" has inadvertently led to most people thinking of romantic love as a deeper relationship than friendship, as the "hierarchy" of relationships go.

With the LOTR slash pairings, I guess I see many of them as saying that when a relationship between two people reaches its deepest and most meaningful point, then it has to be one of romantic love. And I say, can't it just be one of really deep friendship? And here's where I feel it degrades friendship: Why can't they just accept that friendship can reach the same depths that romantic love does without becoming the slightly different kind of relationship that is romantic love?

I'm digressing.

Y'know what made me come to this realisation of yet another thing that book fans should fear about movie adaptations? Yeah, that's right, Narnia. (Yes, my life revolves around it at the moment, get used to it. And it doesn't help that William Moseley is most endearingly distracting.)

And with it, the disturbing discovery of Peter/Susan and Peter/Edmund pairings on FanFiction.net's Narnia pages.

My skin crawled. I swear it did.

And I realised that it's easy to think of these pairings when we see the characters on screen, because hey, some part of us knows that these people are not related, they're certainly not siblings, and so they certainly can get together. And in the course of putting the actors and actresses together in their mind's eye, the characters are put together by association. It doesn't help that the Pevensies hug each other a lot in the film. And it helps even less when you consider that William Moseley (Peter) and Anna Popplewell (Susan) are VERY beautiful people indeed.

And maybe that's all it comes down to. Beautiful people. Orlando Bloom was an ethereally beautiful Legolas, and Viggo Mortensen was a rugged sort of beautiful as Aragorn. And Elijah Wood and those stunning blue eyes of his made Frodo beautiful in a heart-breaking sort of "innocence-lost" way. And Sean Astin's portrayal of his character made him a beautiful Samwise Gamgee, in all his stalwart loyalty and stumbling-- but honest-- bravery.

And while watching the screen, we're all kind of reduced to the media's habit of taking everything at face value.