Please help.

If you're a poor undergrad like I am, we can't do much financially, but the least we can do is spread the word and raise the level of public awareness.

I don't read or watch local news much, so I can't really say that I know it's been featured very much in the local media, but this is something we talked about in my Social Memory class a few weeks ago, and watching the numbers of deaths and displaced peoples climb in those last few weeks has been heartbreaking.

But you know what would be worse?

It would be even worse to think that after the Holocaust and the Rwandan Genocide, the human race still hasn't learned, and that we could let something like this happen all over again.


Help spread the word.

Wikipedia page for background and details of the Crisis

The International Crisis Group's page on the situation

Sign a Petition:
To bring Darfur's war criminals to justice or,
to demand that the UN Secretary-General take action.

Donate; see a list of websites to which you can make a donation here at BBC news page; UNICEF and the Red Cross are among them.

Wristbands, being sold by Save Darfur.

Please do not do nothing.

So... I can finally catch a breather.

Three papers down and one more to go, plus I just turned in that final report for XD3102 this morning, so that means that now, I have a whole week to study for my SC4212 paper next Wednesday.

Earth Day was just a couple of days ago, and I figure now's about a good time to put down the things which've been running around in my head for quite some time now.

Global warming is a hot issue at the moment (pun intended). No reason why it *shouldn't* be. And lately I keep seeing all these pleas to the public to help save the Earth, to save it for your children and for the many generations which will come even after them.

And it kinda made me wonder about how fast kids seem to be growing up nowadays and how fast change happens from one generation to another now.

I see ten-year-olds playing with their handphones when I only received my first handphone at the age of 17. I see girls who look about twelve years old wearing lipstick and one-and-a-half inch heels when the first time I wore a pair of pumps was in secondary school.

And when I work during the holidays, I notice quite a few overweight kids (mostly boys) walking around with their parents, obsessed with their handheld games.

And that last one, most of all, makes me wonder.

It seems that what most kids do for fun nowadays is play on the computer; I had a Chinese tuition teacher whose son did that all the time-- he kept wanting to play on the computer and she wouldn't let him.

And I thought maybe that was why the small playground at the base of his apartment block was always empty, except for a few youths sitting around and chatting.

An entire generation which grew up in the "digital age", while the previous generation--mine-- still "went out to play" when we were allowed to play.

And one thing leads to another.

I wonder if soon, playgrounds will be the only space in which children have to play.

I wonder if, as Singapore and the rest of the world continues to develop, there will be less and less space to run around and lose yourself in.

I wonder if cities will become vast tracts of streets and tarmac and concrete jungle while parks become tiny spaces of isolation lost in all the smog.

I wonder if the children who are born twenty years from now will even be able to run outside and play; will there be anymore "outside" left? Or will the world just be a series of rooms and spaces enclosed in glass and plastic and metal?

I wonder if, with all our "upward development", and the recent fad of "aerial gardens", will these be the only green spaces left? Will the only space that your children can run about freely in, be a space that is sixty stories up in the air?

Will the only space that your grandchildren can run about freely in, be a space that is eighty stories above the ground, shielded by a plastic and glass bubble which contains manufactured "fresh air" pumped out by hidden vents?

I wonder if the world just a hundred years from now will be an alien one to those of us who know it now.

And I wonder if all this will simply be a fairytale for my children, yours and everyone else's.

So it begins.

One down, and three more to go.

Whee.

Last year, during the World Cup season, I found out that Converse was selling these limited edition bags of selected countries in the World Cup; Germany, Italy and Spain were among them.

I wanted a Germany one (naturally, being the Germany fan that I am. XD), so Eugene and I went down to a Converse store one day and we found out that they were sold out. And the store attendant even told us that the Germany editions were sold out islandwide.

Sigh. Was depressed, but it wasn't particularly a big deal, so I got over it soon enough.

And today, Joseph comes to school and presents me this lovely thing:



And I never even mentioned to him that I'd actually wanted this bag last year.

Happy anniversary to you too, baby. ^_^

I fluctuate between a brilliant hope and a relentless kind of despair.

I still haven't got back the papers for SC3205 and SC4212 yet.

But I have got back my test and project for SC3206 and GE2224; B+ and A+ respectively-- good, I must say, coz I was expecting a C+ for the former. :P

And my XD3102 symposium presentation went better than I expected; it was done the night before the presentation, but I guess I finally gave in to that niggling feeling that I had about the Spivak essay and went ahead and challenged her assertions anyway.

And maybe that challenge even scored me extra points. Whee.

So everything actually looks pretty good now; I still have pretty high expectations for those two papers which I haven't received back yet.

But right now I'm so afraid that everything's gonna wind up going straight to hell, and taking my hope of getting a good CAP for my honours by the end of next AY along with it.

Because I have exams on the 21st, 23rd and 24th of April, and at the same time, the final report for XD3102 is due on midnight of the 24th of April; Dr Ryan has already quite nice as to set that date pretty far back after I told her that I have 3 exams packed together in the first week of examinations.

So to sum it up really, I have less than five days to study for three exams and write a paper.

Someone please save me.

I don't know if I ask for too much.

I keep thinking I should be more understanding, less selfish, less demanding--

And then something else asks, how much is enough?

I don't know if I ask for too little.

What if I compromise too much? How much am I supposed, expected, to understand, to compromise, to not demand?

It makes me sad when I look back because everything looks so different now.

But something tells me to be understanding, and the cycle begins all over again.

And each time it only feels like the hole I'm standing in gets dug a little deeper.


I'm tired of looking backwards.

I'm tired of knowing that everything good is behind me.

I'm tired of thinking of questions which don't have answers.

I'm tired of wondering why things are, or if they even should be, this way.

Well, looks like it's goodbye to Eusoff Hall now.

I don't have enough points; not for lack of trying though. I had tried to join committees in my first semester here, but they're not too keen on taking in the Year 3s, unless the Year 3s are already seniors with experience or whom they've worked with before.

I don't really blame them; Year 3s have more academic workload than the Year 2s and 1s after all, and there's also the fact that some of those Year 3s are likely to be graduating-- they might not have that much time to commit to Hall activities.

But I'd been hoping that I might still be able to secure a room if I joined Rag Wardrobe and helped Shazzy out since she's the Rag Wardrobe Mistress now. It wouldn't be too difficult for me either, since even though I'm not intending to stay over the holidays, I still live fairly near school and my French module during the Special Term is going to have me coming back almost everyday anyway.

But.. the JCRC sent out an email to all those who're appealing, and it says that we need to reject any other accomodation offers that we've recieved and put ourselves on OSA's Waiting List. And then, while EHOC (Eusoff Hall Orientation Committee) members will be given priority, if we do get accepted back, we'll still need to sign a kinda contract detailing what contributions we'll make to the hall in the coming academic year.

Note the "IF".

And there's the fact that I'll be in Year 4 next academic year-- the thought of having to commit to more things in such a crucial year made me seriously stop to think.

I've already been offered a place at Ridge View because the Sports and Recreation Centre sets aside 100 rooms in RVR for school athletes. And while I don't really like the old blocks (which are the blocks whose rooms we're given), the rooms themselves aren't too bad; pretty much the same size as Eusoff's rooms.

I'd been trying to get back into Eusoff coz I like their rooms better, and I think the surroundings are better too; RVR is a little too near to vegetation for my liking, and what's more, Eusoff is much nearer to Arts than RVR is.

Then I thought about the fact that most of the girls in the long wing on my floor are actually moving away to other blocks next year; even if I do come back to Eusoff, I might not wind up back in my block, and I most likely won't even be with the same people.

In contrast, if I were to move to RVR, about half the archery club will be there.

So thus, I made my decision.

Ridge View Residences and my fellow archers, looks like I'll be with you guys next sem. :)

Jack Johnson's music makes me smile.
Funny how this song says so much about you and me. ^_^


Do You Remember

Do you remember when we first met?
I sure do
It was some time in early September
But you were lazy about it, you made me wait around
I was so crazy about you, I didn't mind
So I was late for class, I locked my bike to yours
It wasn't hard to find, you painted flowers on it
Guess that I was afraid that if you rode away
You might not roll back my direction real soon

Well, I was crazy about you, then and now
But the craziest thing of all
Over ten years have gone by and you're still mine
Locked in time, let's rewind

Do you remember when we first moved in together
The piano took up the living room
You played me Boogie Woogie, I played you love songs
You'd say, we're playing house
Now you still say we are
We built our getaway up in a tree we found
We felt so far away but we were still in town...

I feel stupid.

Well, more stupid than usual.


I'm always thinking of ideas at the *wrong* time; why did I only manage to think of a topic for my SC4215D term paper last semester a WEEK before it was due? (Although there isn't really anything to complain about coz I got an A+ for the paper) Why did I only think of an appropriate case study for my SC32505 paper this semester three days before it was due??

And WHY, someone please tell me WHY, have I only thought of looking for library books on trade unions in Singapore TODAY (when the paper is due on Thursday) instead of looking for working class culture in Singapore???!?!

*bashes head on table*

I am an IDIOT.

And I *know* the world hates me right now, because the one and only interviewee I have for this paper is away in India right now. Argh.


Plus, XD3102 is only further frustrating me.

EVERYTHING in the whole course is so confusing and I can't make ANY sense of head or tail of ANY of the readings! Well, okay, just about 90% of them. Phizacklea I can understand, but her simplicity just means more questions to ask; Ang is interesting and I can identify, but she makes my head swim; Butler makes my head spin even more and Spivak most of all, just makes it spin right off and explode.

Spivak. ARGH.

Why the hell is my project using her arguments and her essay as a means for comparison and understanding when I can barely understand HER?!?!?!???!!

Someone please just KILL ME NOW.

I can't believe I'm willingly staying on for another year of this torture.