I have finally found motivation. :D

From now on, I shall work towards getting into the School of Psychology at Monash University; it's about the only thing that I really want right now, and I think that's a good thing. :)

Oh well. :)

I'm thinking about using myself as a poster girl for the 15-hour school day or something.... I'm in school at 7, classes are from 8 am to 3.50 pm today, extra geog class will be from 4.30 to 6 pm, and night study will be from 7-10 pm. 15 hours.

I'm nuts.

But at least now there's a point to all this insanity. :D

School was suspended today; how cool is that?!? :D

Must've been all that construction going on with the new block; the electric system (that doesn't sound like the appropriate word for it, but nothing else is coming to mind right now) needed upgrading, and today, they just couldn't get anything to work! :D

Except for J block, that is. Our block was the only one in the whole school that had electricity. :P

So, well, we couldn't possibly have lectures or do much else without electricity, so yeah, school was suspended for today! :D

And Tuesday's my longest day of the week too......YES!!

Meeting John and Wei Jian later at TP Mac's to study, since night study at school's been cancelled tonight.

Same electricity problem. :D

While we're at it, I'm still thinking about Violet's idea of dinner on Friday with some other band people and group Maths study after.

Friday...don't have much money with me now; I don't even wanna think about how much will be left at the end of the week.

Well, I never have much money, anyway. :P

Note to self: Must find a way to increase my weekly allowance. :P

There. Is. Something. Wrong. With. Me.

There has to be!!!

Why the hell don't I feel the LEAST bit anxious about prelims even though they're in less than three weeks?!?

Why am I NOT worried about the A levels when they're in less than three months?!?!

What is WRONG with me?!?!

Night study. Haven't stayed back for that in a very long time and I kinda forgot how fun it could be studying in the library.

No, seriously. I"m not kidding.

It's really nice to study there at night. It's quiet and everything, and it helps you concentrate really well.

Pastamania...7-inch Hawaiian Pizza for dinner. Was very nice. I'm adding Pastamania to my list of nice places to eat at. :D

By the way, I think I've really lost it.

I don't understand the poem that I wrote in last Wednesday's entry.

I don't understand it, mainly because I can't remember what the hell I was feeling when I wrote it!

Man... I must be more twisted than I thought if I can't understand myself.... O.o

John has kindly suggested that I have a split personality.

Well, I always knew I wasn't completely sane. This proves it. :P

I've always said that I'm already halfway round the bend, and I'm going to crack before I'm 25. I seriously believe that.

I don't want to live past 30 right now. Life seems too boring after 30.

I was inking last week's Lit lecture notes earlier today, and there was this one point that I scribbled down which the lecturer mentioned.

"Can friendship compete with romantic love?"

Ever watched those cliched movies and read those cliched stories where two best friends like the same person and then they fall out because of it?

I've read a lot of those online, and got tired of them; I never bothered finishing those.

But the question is...disturbing.

If I ever got a boyfriend at some time in the future, I wouldn't want to make him the centre of my life and forget completely about my friends.

And if that's the case, then who should get more attention? The friends? The boyfriend?

And then...there're specific, life (and opinion)-changing events that happen in all our lives. And when I looked at that question today, I think I could finally say "yes".

Yeah, I think friendship and romantic love can co-exist, but probably only in some very rare cases, usually with very understanding partners, I guess.

(Ever notice how much depends on the other party?? This is part of the reason why I believe that people are never really ever sure of exactly what they're getting into when they start a romantic relationship. :P)

Forget the cliched storyline where the two best friends fall out just coz they like the same person.

I've finally seen it happen in real life, and they're still good friends.

Maybe we don't give friendship enough credit. :)

My foot hurts.

Went to see doctor last night, and I have PILLS. For a foot problem.

Sounds a bit illogical, doesn't it??

Antibiotics to get rid of the infection and anti-inflammation pills.

3 pills to swallow three times a day.... I hate pills!! :S

But the really funny thing was that today, I ate lunch in school and I took the medicine then; I swear, that was the fastest I'd ever swallowed ANY pills. :P And it was three of at one go too! :P

Photo-taking today.... John's missing it coz he has his checkup today and he's not coming back to school coz he feels "flu-ish". Haha. That was in his own words. :P

My class has a lotta unwell people today.... I've just realised something very interesting about my class; when we're all healthy and all, we're fine, but once one person falls sick, the WHOLE class will start getting problems.

Man, are we a "united" class or what? :P

Night study starts this week. Gonna stay back on Friday or maybe tomorrow.

Bored.............................. bye for now.

I have just realised that Wednesday's entry.....was a little strange.

I have no idea what I was thinking then.... or maybe I've just forgotten what I was thinking then. But the poems looks good; maybe I'll just improve on it a little. :)

Lalala....nothing interesting happened today.

Well, other than the fact that there were no classes and school ended at about 10.30 am today, since it's National Day Celebrations.

Well, yeah, today's also officially the last day that I touched my clarinet. So sad... I removed all my reeds and cleaning paper and the little scented wooden ball that I put in my case. Now all that's in there is the swab and the polishing cloths; when I looked at it after I'd removed all my stuff, it looked so empty.

Which was, well, weird.

(Alliteration. Four "W"s in a row. Wow. :P)

Even if when I do buy myself a clarinet in the future, I'll never forget that one. It's the first clarinet that I ever touched and played, after all. :)

Think about love and hate for a while.

Hate is.... so much simpler. It just is.

And love, by contrast, is there in all its bloody varying degrees and extents; it's damned annoying. I hate love.

That sound ironical to you?

I don't care.

People say that love makes you want to be a better person.

Does it make you want to be a better person to try and please the person that you love? Or is it because you want to be "worthy" of that person? Or is it because you've made that person out to be too perfect?

What's the point of love if it only makes you hate yourself, then?


Craft your dreams like paper cranes
Wings that stretch
And never fly
Icarus laughs in Tartarus' blaze
For we all try to fly and fall
The wax burns
Melts its way through your fingers
And heart
This you crave you will not have
How you despise yourself
For what you are
But we all carve our own gods
Each grotesque and mocking
Such ridicule we bear
And in our blindness
We call it love

-Gerri, 6/8/03

Lalala.... nothing interesting happened today.

The only interesting thing that happened yesterday (well, okay, it wasn't really interesting; just of note, that's all. Haha.) was that I found out that Wei Jian cut his hair!!

Haha....he looks so different!

He's gone from floppy hair to spiky (well, sort of)..... This proves my theory that eventually, most boys will choose spiky haircuts. :D Or just shorter haircuts. :P

But seriously, it was slightly weird; I've seen him with his floppy hair for about one and a half years, and now with shorter hair....it's just strange! :P

Bored....

John had detention yesterday for not wearing tie....is that worthy of note? *Thinks* Well, it is a little harsh for just not wearing your tie... :S

But I guess if there aren't strict rules, no one's gonna pay any mind to discipline, yeah? :P

Bored..... have PE later. Not sure what we're gonna do for the lesson, and I'm not really sure I care all that much.

Oh well.

I don't have much homework or tests yet this week, so I'm gonna go home and start doing extra questions. Gotta start doing them today or I'll never get started! I've already been procrastinating over it for the past two weeks.... :S

Ah, well. Let's celebrate our shallow teenage values, shall we? :P

"If Death walked up to you one day, extended his hand, and said, "Let's go," would you?"

I think about what Mr T's question in last week's Lit tutorial, and I realise that I'd say yes.

I've always only had two perceptions of what Death would look like if he were a person.

He would either look like a young man, not particularly good-looking, but perhaps with a quietly confident air about him. Or he might look like an old man; a very warm, grandfatherly kind of old man.

I'd go, but the thing is, I'm not sure why.

It's been ages since I last wrote.... the only interesting thing that's happened this week was band investiture on Friday night. :)

It was so sad that I was stepping down, but it was strange that I was so happy that night.... It's the happiest I've ever been since....since my birthday, actually! :D

Everyone was just really happy; I guess it kinda rubbed off on everyone. :D

Took a trainees photo again; when I put the picture beside the one that we took last year, I know I was right; the boys have changed more than the girls. :)

There's something about band that just makes me believe without a single doubt that it's the best ECA in the whole school; I especially believe that there's no other ECA in the whole school that's as closely bonded as ours.

Oh yeah, Erlinda told me that my attendance was 97%. :D Along with three other people: Wei Jian, Wei Seng and Kai Lin. She told me that the four of us had 97% attendance while we were out at the bus stop. :)

And Channel 5 showed D2 yesterday evening!

D2 is excellent.... It's the best of all the three Mighty Ducks movies! I've loved those films ever since I was...what, 12?

Yeah, I think that's it....that was the first time that I saw thre first film; turned on the TV and D1 was on, I started watching halfway, but it was just really cool; couldn't turn it off. :D

When it ended, I wondered if there was a second one, and guess what? A year later, Channel 5 showed D2 and I watched it for the first time. :D

No use trying to play ice hockey here; Singapore only has one hockey team, and they don't take girls.

Sexist. And in this day and age too, for goodness' sake.....

Oh well. Nothing else to write (type).

Well, maybe I do wish that the Anaheim Mighty Ducks were actually as good as the team that they were named after. :P

Ta. :)