Just found out the best thing ever (well, at this point in time, anyway); "Everwood" is back!! YAY!!! :D

Have been waiting FOREVER to see the second season since middle of last year, and now that stupid Channel 5 has finally brought it back, guess what; they're airing it at 1 am on Friday mornings. (-_-)...

And this is a good, clean family drama that we're talking about here. Whose first season they used to air at 7 pm on Sundays. And which my sisters and I just loved. Not a lot of people whom we knew watched it or had heard of it, but heck if we cared.

All we cared about was that it was heartwarming, funny stuff and that Gregory Smith was cute, and I loved that the characters were just so perfectly flawed.

If my sister hadn't mentioned it offhandedly tonight while I was eating my dinner, I probably would never have known that they were showing it now, man.

Another reason why I loved "Everwood" (and still do) is coz it's set in a small town. Always wanted to live in a small town. And here you have a small town that's hidden away in the Rockies, and the nearest city is Denver, a couple of miles away.

Always wanted to live somewhere quiet, isolated, where it'd be just me and my writing and I could watch the day go by, living in a place that was empty and mostly untouched and where the town was small and everyone knew each other. I've liked the idea of living in a small town for as long as we've been visiting my paternal grandmother every Lunar New Year (coz she lives in a small town in Malaysia), and I completely fell in love with it when I read "To Kill A Mockingbird" for my Literature O Levels.

But, you know, the funny thing is, as I was watching "Everwood" just now, I realised something.

I realised that all the plans and dreams that I've ever made or had for my life and my future involve just me. No one else.

I figure that means that, a) I'm really selfish (which really, I think I am), or b) it's just never crossed my mind that there would ever be anyone else besides just me.

And I wonder if I'll ever start imagining a quiet life with two people in it. And I wonder if I want to imagine that, or if I just want to leave it in the future, just leaving it to happen without giving any thought to it.

Because I dream, yeah, that's true. And sometimes I dream with no intention of letting those dreams come true. Sometimes I dream for the sake of letting my mind wander. And sometimes I dream because I'd like it to happen.

I know; in a time when everybody's planning for their tomorrows and next weeks and next years, my way of pretty much living for the here and now is going to backfire on me.

But I'll appreciate everything more because nothing will ever be the same as it is now. Everyone that I know could be completely changed over the course of one night if something big happened. You could migrate elsewhere and I'd never even know that you'd left.

And I may be almost twenty now, but before the M18 rating came about and when I was upset that I couldn't watch things that were previously rated RA, like "City of God", I was still happy that I could still do all the things that minors could do and really, were expected to do.

I'll see all the things that you miss. I'll watch a chameleon run across the path from LT 11 up to the Old Admin Block and scurry up the nearest tree; I'll watch birds drink out of a puddle of water and remember how the birds around my old house used to wash themselves in the puddle that'd gather behind the gate everytime after it rained. I'll watch the same silly mynah try to hop across the road instead of flying across; I'll watch a little spider catch and cocoon a flying ant the same size as it while sitting in the corner of a bus on the way to school, and I'll watch as those tiny birds build a little nest in my neighbours' rambutan tree.

And one day, maybe I'll imagine watching the rest of the world go by with you.

Because there was line in "Everwood" just now, towards the end, which I found oddly fitting.

"...I heard this laugh. This incredible no-holds-barred laugh like gravel on sandpaper. I had no intention to settle down, but it hit me in that moment that that voice could be opening the door to an adventure as profound as any I could ever have alone. And I chose it."