This is an advance post.

I'm posting this on the 29th of December, really, but I'm doing so coz I'll be away at the Arts Club's MC chalet from later today till the 31st, so I won't have access to a computer then.

I'm posting this under the 30th of December because of the two closest friends whom I've had the greatest pleasure of meeting and knowing in my life, and coincidentally, both their birthdays are on the 30th of December, albeit there's really three years age difference between them.


Firstly, Pamela.

Even though Singapore's a small country, how many people can actually claim to have gone through almost your entire schooling life, in the same schools as one other person? And how many people in the world have truly wonderful friendships that can last this long?

People in uni sometimes ask me if Pam and I were from the same JC, and my answer to that is, with a grin: "Same JC, same secondary school, same primary school."

We've known each other since we were 10, which means that we've known each other for nearly half our lives, and the thing that I'm most thankful for is that as we go up the academic ladder and our schedules both become more and more packed, and even though we may not be in all each other's classes, there's no love lost there.

Each time we meet, even though we haven't seen each other for a long time, it's like picking up where we left off, and it's this degree of comfort with each other which I really appreciate. I love that we can go on talking and jabbering about complete nonsense and that no one would actually understand but the two of us. I love that we can be talking about the same thing, yet seem like we're on different tracks, and sometimes not even finish our own sentences, but we still understand what we're both getting at. I love that around her, I can be as bitchy as I like and I can complain all I want, and she'll let me, even if she doesn't completely understand, and she might even join in and we'll end up a pile of giggles after that.

I love all this and so much more; this is probably one of the few things in my life which I will never be able to fully put into words, and I'm glad to let it remain that way. Being able to completely reduce something to words takes something away from the whole experience, somehow.


Secondly, Ivan.

Yes, so I've only known Ivan for about two months, as compared to the ten years that I've shared with Pam.

Still, the "connectivity" (in Kenny's words) we have is both amazing and disarming to many people around us; the things which we have in common and the way we behave around each other, completely at ease-- which people find rather "suspicious" given that the two of us are of opposite sexes-- never ceases to make me always want to stop and wonder how it all happened.

The very first time I met Ivan was during the O Week Councillors' pre-camp, when I was sitting with Pam and Greg and him while their OG were making their mascot. At that time, we were no more than acquaintances; I probably thought of him as one of those people whom you'll meet during things like this, orientation and stuff, but whom you'll probably never see again for about a year or so.

That turned out to be wrong, I guess, and I'm very happy that it turned out to be so. :D

I remember later, when school had started, when he and Greg and I were hanging around the clubroom one day, making up our own silly "jepalang" civilisation as ideas came into our heads and laughing ourselves silly; I think that by that time, I'd forgotten his name. :P

And then finally, when he was stuck with having to back up his laptop, we just hit it off and got along like a house on fire. :D

For some strange reason, I've never really felt like I have to hold back anything around Ivan, in much the same way as I do with Pam; right from the start, I don't remember ever feeling uncomfortable around Ivan, unlike how I usually get around strangers.

And what am I thankful for here?

I'm thankful for the fact that we have so much in common in the way of our twisted thinking (albeit that he's more twisted than me), I'm thankful that he indulges my childishness, I'm thankful that he listens when it's needed, and I'm thankful that he made me his godsister, giving me three things at one shot: a brother, a godsibling and an older sibling all at one go!


Pam told me once when we were in J2 and when she was really into the astrological stuff, that if you arranged all the twelve signs of the zodiac in a circle, each sign was supposed to get along best with the sign that was directly opposite it.

For me, a Cancer, that sign is Capricorn. And I bet you're not surprised by now; 30th December falls nicely under the influence of Capricorn.

I've never believed that the zodiac and all the stuff which people write about it is completely true, but in this case, I think I've just got really lucky. :D


So, my dear Pam and my dear kor, here's something that I wrote for your birthdays this year. :D


Capricorn
For Pamela and Ivan,
on their 19th and 22nd birthdays respectively,
this 30th of December 2004

I think I've made my wishes
Set them free
With all the birds and the fishes
But only two ever came home to me

I think I wished for love
And I think I wished for kinship;
Two halves of a pair of turtle-doves;
Friendship like this

Shall sweep me off my feet
More often than anything else.
So let this be for what let us meet
And the higher powers

All claim their own glory;
I will simply wake each morning--
From sleep stolen I shall be sorry
But ever your companionship
Shall raise my spirit.

So wrap it in its trappings
Friendship and the misgivings
Imbued on it by the world
I will show you the exception
That proves the norm

And bound in the tape of friendship
Sealed in the love of happiness
And laughter and tears
I will tell you
That being free must be something like this.


I think I wished for love
I think I wished for kinship
And I think I'd never known that friendship
Could be love like this.