So here I am, awake at this ungodly hour coz I caught the "Lost" season premiere (and it ended at 12 mn), and now I'm just surfing aimlessly.

And I just remembered something which amused me a couple of nights ago.

James and I were talking about movies over MSN, and we came to the subject of the Harry Potter movies; he then mentioned he couldn't understand the time travel bit in the "Prisoner of Azkaban", where Harry thinks he sees his father, but he really sees himself. For those who haven't seen the movie (you *have* to be kidding me, really), this is further complicated by the fact that he and Hermione then do things in the past which they, from their memory, already know affected the present. Confused yet?

Well, James was. But I sorted it out, at least partly.


Gerri:
so u understand now...? haha
or sorta understand
James:
sorta understand lol
freak i tk abt it 4 quite long sia n could not come up with a answer sia
n u tell me in a few mins...
Gerri:
haha....
and i'm arts student some more...


I'm not going to put up my whole explanation here; maybe another day when I have more time. But what struck me here is this: I can explain time travel... but I can't understand the quantum physics principles that are taught in my physics breadth module?!?!?!!!

WTH.

But then again, there are philosophical arguments in time travel. And physics too. So maybe it kinda is a discussion for arts students after all. Lol.


My two-week ban from shooting to allow my ligament injury to recover ended this Tuesday. But since we no longer train on Tuesdays due to the coming exams and term papers we all have due, Thursday would have been the next training day. And I wanted to shoot today (okay, I realise that technically it's "yesterday" coz it's past 2 in the morning now), but it RAINED.

GODDAMNIT, someone out there hates me.

Or maybe Weiquan jinxed it.


So I was just surfing around. Checking mail. Doing various other nonsense I do online on a near-daily basis. Then it occurred to me to check the hostel application stuff since the results of the first round are supposed to be out today (Friday, 31st March, that is).

Fleetingly, I wondered if I actually still *do* want to be involved in all these student activities. Shouldn't I be concentrating more on studies in third year? Shouldn't I just be bored with all this by now? But well, we'll see how it goes. I've only applied for one semester, after all.

Key in matric no. and PIN and login and blah blah blah. Click to check status of application and voila. Hm. Somehow, this is kind of unexpected.


It seems that this is to be home for the next semester.


NUS Eusoff Hall. 

Hehe. I feel quite proud of myself for being so smart. :P

Was in school, in clubroom on Friday, and sometime in the evening, Guan Jie was sifting through the YouTube website, looking for random interesting video clips to watch. After watching with him for a while, I suddenly thought, "What would pop up if we did a search for 'Full Metal Panic' clips?"

Well, among the many fan-made anime music videos (a few of which really are quite nice), here's what else appeared.

God bless the person who uploaded the whole season of "Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid". XD XD XD

Only thing is, for some strange reason, episode 12 isn't uploaded. But that's all right-- I'm gonna be getting the whole thing soon, anyway. Heehee.

But the final battle scene in episode 13 was damn cool.

The stupid Driver finally works. Or at least it seems he finally figured out how to work it. And the bloody AI has a sense of humour! Bloody hell. It has a better sense of humour than the pilot. -_-...

And Shaun was right; it *did* end quite nicely, although I wish there was a fourth season to follow it up. I wish she'd just say it already and tell him that she likes him, but then I guess, after that, the characters would just become boring. So I guess it's nicer to leave things the way they are.

Hm hm hm... guess I'll go back to writing my papers now. :)

Status of private "Full Metal Panic" marathon: complete.

Heehee.

Shaun lent me his DVD box set of the first season of "Full Metal Panic"; he said that the English subtitles are kinda screwy (and yeah, they are) but they're not that bad. At least you still understand what's going on.

Finished all 24 episodes, and the good news is that just before I was gonna start watching last night, James sent me a message on MSN saying that he has both the first season of FMP and "Second Raid" season.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Hehe. I *will* get this out of system!

Randomness. Why do I always seem to get the urge to blog about random stuff whenever I have papers which are due soon?

Maybe it's destressing. Huh.


Always doing things at the wrong time. Stupid girl. Finished watching ALL the episodes of Fumoffu that Henry passed to me yesterday; took me three-plus hours, and now that I think about it, I could've finished writing my part of the paper by now. Grr. Stupid girl.


It doesn't make sense to miss something that you've never had. But sometimes I think I do. Maybe a species really does have some sort of collective memory; maybe that's how we sometimes get an achy sort of feeling about something, even though when we think back, we realise we've never had any sort of experience like it before.


Quite a few of the archery people talking about getting their own bows, even some of the juniors. And I wonder what kind of bow I might like, what it would look like, and when I'll finally be able to afford one.


Struck me sometime last month how I seem to have a strange affinity with people born in December. People born on December 30th, in fact. I seem to get on pretty well with them. And I seem to have an uncanny knack for finding them.

Beatrice, a good friend from back in primary school, is born in December; we were pretty crazy then, and we still keep in touch now.

Pam is born on December 30th. Best friend I've ever had, and we're in our 12th year of knowing each other now.

Ivan is born on December 30th. While it lasted, I always thought it beautifully amusing that my best friend and boyfriend shared a birthday.

James is born on December 30th. I've only known him for a year, and while I wouldn't say that we're anything close to being best friends, on those conversations during the bus rides home, he sometimes puts a very different spin on my outlook on life. And I just like that we can talk and get along the way we do.

Vincent is born in December, and it's funny because I'm not sure I'd say that we're good friends-- I don't think we know nearly enough about each other to say that. I think. But he's good company. Despite the fact that he can be really annoying while we're shooting. It looks like I'm gonna lose someone that I can shoot with; I remember in my first year, a few of us talked about going on to shoot even after we'd graduated or were no longer on the committee; that number of people has diminished drastically. And seeing as Vincent's going on exchange for a year, I guess he's not going to be coming back to the sport.

December people have a unique kind of feeling to them. For some strange reason, to me, they all feel... right, in some way. Comfortable to be around. And I can't really figure out why, but oh well.


If someone could take a snapshot of the things that float around in your head at any random point in time, what do you think they'd find?

I've had this strange little thought floating around in my own head for a long time now, along with other strange thoughts like it.

If there were a freeze-frame snapshot of what goes on in my brain, I think I'd know what it looked like.

Half-finished images and fleeting, half-imagined memories of landscapes that I've never seen-- burning sunsets and reddened grass like the melting clocks in a Salvador Dali. Snatches of verses and truncated lines randomly conjured up; waiting for a poem to be fitted into and a title to go under.

A persistent image of a girl who looks too much like me, spinning circles in a wide open field.

Always laughing. And I wish I knew why she was so happy.

Knees touching, and someone with no face, but shoulders which were made for leaning on.

Papers with words on them; half careful, premeditated script and half angry, illegitimate, semi-artistic scrawl.

And I wonder why they aren't all bound together in a book, but all loose pages.

Of exchange programs and the like.

Sometimes I wonder if I should stop living in the moment, and think about things that are to come; not just a vague idea of what I want to do in the next few years, but about the next phase of life or whatever it's called nowadays.

Sometimes I wonder if I should buy more dresses and other formal wear. Sometimes I wonder if I should learn to put on make-up. All the formal events that I've had to attend in University just make the world out there so much more real. Sometimes I wonder why I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

Sometimes I wonder if I should do what everyone else seems to be doing and grow up.

Sometimes I wonder what might be if I were not the way I am.

Sometimes I think that Life would be miserable if I were to grow up and always think ahead and of dresses and colours for faces and never about here and now.

And sometimes, I know I would be. And then I wonder if I was born in the wrong kind of body, in the wrong kind of species, at the wrong time and the wrong place.

I can't stop and smell the roses when everyone around me is just trampling them into the ground.

Changed the blog music. Nice? I've had the Enya one for quite a while now.

This is.. well, I think you can read the title and artist for yourself, so I won't repeat it here; it's one of my more-liked piano pieces.

I once started this piece playing, then I closed my eyes and started writing.

Free-association writing can scare you sometimes. Sometimes it scares you because you never knew what you were thinking. Sometimes it scares you that your guard could be so lowered as to allow some thoughts to be brought outside of the confines of your mind. And sometimes it scares you because it makes you wonder who you really are.


Was frustrating during training yesterday; was watching the juniors shoot, and I couldn't shoot..!! It didn't help that Weiquan was making fun of the fact that I couldn't shoot. And Kristy was busy mothering around, constantly going, "Gerriii...! Cannot..! Don't go and pull, later your phalanges fly off, how...??"

I think the people who know Kristy will be able to imagine how she said that. Lol...

Okay... I went to see the doctor yesterday.

I was really kidding when I said that I was willing to "let them give me 5 different kinds of pills that I have to take two each of three times daily".

Not that I have five different kinds of pills, thankfully. Just one. But still. "Two, three times daily." On the bright side, they're pretty small. Don't even feel them when I swallow. So I suppose everything's okay.


Medication: painkiller cream + anti-inflammatory drugs 

I've been told that it's the lateral ligament along the side of my finger that's the problem; I guess it's strain or something. So I'm not allowed to shoot for two weeks. Sigh. Better than a year, like Weiquan was suggesting. 0_o

Competition yesterday. Really not much chance of winning anything, looking at all the other competitors, but at least I'm sorta happy with my performance.

I know my form is sort of back now, and I think I'm starting to get used to the poundage of my bow; I'm more comfortable with drawing now, and I can shoot a full shoot without getting too tired; plus, I have a comfortable enough position for my clicker.

50m score is underperforming again; there's something about 50m during competition-- I think the wind doesn't like my arrows. Please don't tell me that I have to upgrade to 36 or 38 pounds just to make sure that my arrows are not as badly affected by the wind...

30m score is all right, though. 262/360. I remember my 4th end was slightly wasted though: X,9,9,8,7... 2. I landed the first arrow of that end in 12 o' clock white because I clicked too fast, and when I heard it click, I automatically released..! Ngh. Damn.

Last end was good though; 4 9s-- solid grouping in yellow, 3-4 o' clock-- the four arrows were kinda stacked up on each other. :D

Now for a few pictures, taken with my phone; I'm starting to really like the camera function now. :D


Chwan at the shooting line. I think this was the last end of the 30m round. 


Kristy, while we were all waiting for the results to see which teams were eligible for the team event. It was a long wait. I think that's Royston on Kristy's left, and behind her is Vincent. Sleeping.
Seems like we always have someone sleeping when we have a competition at NTU; last year it was Mario. Haha. 


Chwan, while we were waiting for some mess-up with the scores and team detailings to be settled, and the two guys' teams were just sitting around. That's Nic in the back. 


Vincent. Looking a bit stoned. Lol. 


Weiquan. He doesn't look this bizarre normally, don't worry. He pulled this silly face for the picture before he realised that I was going to keep this picture for the caller/messenger ID recognition on my phone. Lol... 


It's a long time more to our next competition; Indoor is in June, so there's a long time to train. But in the meantime, I should probably go see a doctor.

My finger got better after we had that long break after IVP, and it wasn't really giving as much trouble during shooting or after shooting, until Thursday night. When Weiquan and Vincent and me were shooting 30m, halfway through the 4th end, when I released, the pain just kinda flared and it really did hurt like shit.

Yesterday, it started hurting in the third end during the 50m round; there were still *nine* ends left to go then...!! I told Weiquan (coz he was in my lane, in the detail after mine) that if he saw something go flying when I released, "help me go pick, coz I'll be too busy screaming."

"Ah, so that'll be your finger, right?"

"Yah. Not the whole thing lah, just the first phalange, I think."

But my finger is intact. Haha. And yes, I shall listen to Weiquan (and Henry now), and go see a doctor next week.

I do hate doctors though. They never have anything good to say.

Please, as long as I don't have to stop shooting, I'll do anything; I'll even let them give me 5 different kinds of pills that I have to take two each of three times daily!

I hate pills.

Shall get back to editing my group report now.

And as a side note: I know there are archery people who read this blog, so please leave a comment. It won't kill you. It's less harmful than your arrows, after all. :P

Training was good again. :)

Career high for 50m! 273/360!! :D :D Although I still have this tendency to land one or two arrows in blue or black just as the score is looking good. Sigh. Oh well. Will improve over time.

Was shooting with Weiquan, Vincent and Nicholas. Just the C-class people minding their own business in our corner of the range. Weiquan had... interesting ideas as to how to get Nic to draw enough so that his clicker would click. They involve a girl from Geylang, exchange of cash and something in return for shooting well. Go figure. -_-

For all you lay-people who don't know what a clicker is:


It's a strip of spring steel attached to the riser. 

How it works is that the arrow is placed under the clicker so that at full draw, the arrow point will be pulled from under the clicker. It will then snap back against the bow making an audible 'click' noise.
At this sound, the archer will release the arrow.
The clicker is thus used as a draw length check. Each arrow can be shot from the exact same draw length; this ensures that the same amount of energy is used to fire each arrow and each arrow has the same amount of energy as it flies.
Before an archer can use a clicker, their draw length must be consistent, otherwise it will be more of a hindrance than a help.

After we'd finished our 6 ends of 6 arrows at 50m, the guys decided to rehearse and take their timing for team event, since the three of them will form one team for this Saturday's competition. And the funniest, most tragic thing happened.

Nic's second arrow scored a 10, but because the centre portion of this board that we were using is a little soft and holey (from all the hits its been taking), the arrow didn't embed itself in anything solid, and it just kinda fell out of the board. But the point snagged on the target sheet itself, leaving the arrow hanging there, lying flat against the board.

Weiquan was the next shooter after Nic, so he stepped up, shot his three arrows, and his last arrow made a very weird metallic noise when it hit the board. I had a bad feeling. It didn't sound like the normal sound that we hear when two arrows just strike against each other when they land close together.

And this was what we saw as they went to collect their arrows.


Weiquan's last arrow split Nic's arrow. 


Here's a close-up; sighted along Weiquan's arrow. 

Carbon arrows. Sigh. Weiquan's promised to pay Nic $10. I wonder what would've happened with aluminium arrows, though. I wonder if they would've split, considering that they're made of solid metal, and not carbon fibres, like ours.

Maybe one day, we'll use a few of the club arrows and see if Weiquan wants to try his luck... heehee.

Training today was good. Training hasn't felt good in a long time.

My form is back. I'm certain of it.

Every release had a follow-through; shots were generally centred; bow torque is a lot less; 50m score is at a career-high of 249. But it could've been better.

After all the lamenting about my lack of a medal for IVP, I've finally come to a conclusion of sorts about NTU Open, which is this Saturday. Given that it's an open competition and all the old-timers who've been shooting for about half their lives-- and not to mention the national archers too-- will be there, I think my chances of winning anything are seriously diminished.

Of course, the competition in C-class Women's in an open competition is still nowhere as bad as C-class Men's; it's there that all the old-timers and national archers really spoil the market-- at their level, their shooting is so good that even among the top few, the difference between their scores is only about one or two points.

But still, I think I've come to terms with the high possibility that I'll probably not win anything. And that might be a good thing. At AAS, I didn't expect to win anything and I got two trophies. It was during IVP that I knew I had less competition and had an expectation of myself that everything flopped. So maybe this time... hm. Who knows. :)

For now though, everything's good.

Just randomness.

Which really shouldn't be taking place at this hour, especially since I have training later at 9 am.


272/360. That's the highest score I've ever seen since I changed my arrows. Going well. 300 is the invisible barrier. Break the glass ceiling.


And before I took this picture with my phone, I honestly didn't think that our target from 50m was this small.


No wonder that one time, Vincent's friend asked if we could actually see the target from where we were (at 50m). 


You know those ads at the bus stop by an association for physically handicapped people..? The ones which proclaim: "We're a part, not apart."

Was thinking today, that it's ironic how "a part" is two separate words which imply togetherness, and "apart" is one word which implies separation.


Big fat toenail in the sky.


Starting to wonder if I should've applied for the Ridge View Residences rooms as a backup plan. About half the archery people have applied under the Year-Round Training scheme, where they're setting aside a hundred rooms in RVR for school athletes.

If I get my hall room (which I really hope I do), it'll be fun to see all the archery people around.

41 points. I know there're people out there who still owe me CCA points. Better give them to me.


Figured out a brilliant plan today which will help me save more money. When I get my monthly pay, I shall draw out two-thirds of it and stash it in the UOB account, which I don't even touch anymore nowadays. Then shall leave the UOB ATM card at home so I can't draw out the money. Ha.

It's true that denial isn't a river in Egypt.

It's a savings plan!

Cue Elmo from stage right:
"This post is brought to you today by the letter 'D'."

"D" is for Deadlines:

SC3101 Response Paper 2: 7th March
GE3206 Mid-term test: 9th March
SC3219 Group Project: 13th March
GE3206 Group Project: 20th March
GE3206 Reflexive writing assignment: 27th March
SC3101 Term Paper: 1st April
NM1101E Group Project: 3rd April


"D" is for Discipline:

20 push-ups in the morning
20 sit-ups in the morning
6 ends of six arrows each at 30m
1 set of bow PT: 10 reps of each
20 push-ups at night
20 sit-ups at night

(and remember to drink milk, or finger will hurt)


"D" is for Determination:

"Gerri, must pia, k? This time can win something one."

I'll try. I'll try really hard.