Bear with me. I feel an irrepressible need to type an "I am thankful" post. I have no idea why. Or maybe I do. We'll see.

Kor, I'm so sorry for ranting off at you over MSN last night, especially since you had more pressing matters at hand; I know I apologised over MSN later and to you in person, and you said it was okay, but I still feel really bad, so I'm really, really sorry. I wish there was something else I could say/write/type to explain what I said, but there isn't; what happened that set the whole thing in motion was pretty much out of my control, and it has repercussions that I have... problems dealing with myself, so.. sorry, please bear with me. I'm sorry that you had to get saddled with a headcase like me, but thank you for putting up with me all this while... well, ever since you've known me, anyway.

I'm thankful for Pam and her baking skills (and following in that vein, her cookies) and for everything else that makes Pamela, Pamela, and for the SC2212 module whose lecture we're taking together; at least I'll get to see her at least once every week even if we aren't able to get the same tutorial group. Which is looking quite likely now, since she just managed to get the Thursday slot that we planned for and I didn't. Sigh. Why didn't I rank the SSA tutorial slot lower since it was almost certain that I'd get it, it being 8 am and all...

I'm thankful that I got to be silly and crappy with her yesterday while we were planning a tutorial slot for SC2212; we haven't had a good, proper, "silly time" for ages, and although we kinda freaked Ivan out, it was still fun. :P Actually, on hindsight, it was probably more so because we freaked him out. :P :D

I'm thankful for Jie and Kenny for trusting me enough to think me responsible enough to want to pick me to be Kenny's PA. Apparently, as Jie told me over the phone last Saturday night, I fulfill all three criteria for being Kenny's PA; ie: 1. I'm female, 2. I'm responsible, 3. I like books. That you think I'm a responsible person is really something that I myself am not that sure of, but I hope I'll be able to live up to your standards. And I'm thankful for William as well; just for being a new friend whom I can talk and joke around with. :) And together, Jie, William, Kenny and I form the "Stripey-Organiser Family". Maybe I'll buy kor one and he can join too. Wouldn't be complete without him, haha.

I'm thankful for Thomas and Yanling and the OG lunch that we had today; seems like all of us are just as "afflicted" with.. well. A certain kind of unavoidable and heart-rending problem. Helped a lot for me to talk about it and get it off my chest a bit; Thomas gave some advice which logically, made sense, but of course, as always is with these things, another part of me would disagree violently. I still hope that things work out in the end, though. I have no idea if I'm being naive or stupid or desperate for doing this, but this really is wearing me quite thin. I'm quite tired of it, but at the same time, refuse to let go of it. I guess we'll see. I've done all I can, I think... so if it wears me down first, then I suppose I'll just be headed to the loony bin a lot sooner than I expected.

I'm thankful that I took up archery as a sport. I know, kor, I know I said that sharp objects were bad things to have around me at a time like this, but don't worry; I wouldn't do anything that would harm my arrows. They cost me almost a hundred bucks after all. :P Hopefully, now that I have archery, it'll help me control myself more during this period of time, since it gives me an avenue to vent my frustrations.

So while I will never be thankful for the mess-up that is my life, I will always be thankful for these select few people in it.