I think I forgot to mention it, but I overslept on Saturday morning. First time I've overslept this year. Know what this means?

Yes, the two hours plus of sleep every night (or morning? considering I don't sleep till about 3 am or later) is finally showing that it's insufficient.

My right eye hurts too; think I might've strained it or popped a vessel in it somewhere.. The last time I was walking around with bloodshot eyes was last year in J2. Not fun.

Don't have classes today, but I'll be going off to school shortly to borrow one of the Lit texts from my friend. It's a shitty situation; I'm doing an essay on that book and another one which I already have, because those two are prose; the only two other options for essay are the two books of poetry or the two dramas.

I've NEVER fared well with drama, and while I'm admittedly good at picking up all the nuances of poetry, I'm not good with comparing poet's general styles.

So, only option left is the two prose texts.

Here's the problem: one book, Pramoedya Ananta Toer's "It's Not An All Night Fair" (an Indonesian translation text; original title is "Bukan Pasar Malam"), I have, but the other book, Doris Lessing's "The Fifth Child", is BANNED in Singapore. This means that possibly your only chance of getting the book here is at NUS Co-Op.

Some people besides us Lit students obviously know this. It's the only explanation for how the book could be sold out when the guy only ordered just enough for our class, and yet some students are coming in saying that have yet to buy the book.

So now I can't get the book from anywhere, and I have to borrow it. I don't have Eugene Ionesco's "Rhinoceros" either. Or my SE1101E reading packet.

All these things are each in the range of about $20, which is why I was hunting so desperately for second-hand textbooks. Unfortunately, that can't be done for Lit, since they change the books every sem; this is why Lit is the most expensive module.

I wish I could buy all the books; I don't have anything against buying good literature, but if you don't have the cash, then you don't have a choice, do you?

Financial problems are a bitch. On one hand, I want so much to say that hey, I NEED all these texts, but at the same time, I don't want to ask my parents for the money; there's a vaguely wrong feeling about asking your parents for money at this age, plus I have to think about the fact that even if I ask for the money, there might not be enough at hand, and I'll just feel even worse for asking.

This is due to a lot of stuff which happened last year; one word could summarise the whole situation: recession. And perhaps we'd have to add that credit cards are the root of all evil. Won't go into details. I believe that anyone who reads this is smart enough; go figure.

I almost couldn't even start first sem at NUS; I'm not Singaporean, so this means that to avoid the three-year bond when I take MOE's subsidised fees, I'm paying the full fees. This means that while all the rest of you pay about $2000 per sem, I have to pay about five times as much.

It scares me sometimes; everytime we talk about modules and activities and such, and I say that I'm thinking about doing Philo or French or something or other next sem, the thought immediately follows: Can I afford a "next sem"??

Thinking about getting a job, but my timetable and the activities that I'm involved in don't really allow for it; I'm just hoping and praying really hard that at the end of this academic year, if I can get good enough results, the academic and CCA record for first year will be enough to get me a scholarship or something for subsequent years.

I can't do this for much longer.